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If you are good at small talk and connecting with people, it’s a superpower. But if you aren’t good at these, you may be missing out on opportunities. In this video men’s style, grooming, fitness, and lifestyle expert, Aaron Marino of IAmAlphaM https://iamalpham.com/ AaronMarino https://aaronmarino.com/ Pete & Pedro https://peteandpedro.com/ Tiege Hanley https://www.tiege.com/and ENEMY https://enemy.com/ is talking about common small talk mistakes and his favorite conversation starters. But you need to practice!
Convervation catastrophies
- Forgetting to ask questions — make the other person feel like you’re interested in him/her. Form a common bond by asking questions and then follow-up questions — taking nuggests from what he/she gives you and forming more questions. You will get connected quickly and automatically.
- Talking about yourself too much — you need to make sure to bring the other person in. Engage with the other person on a deeper level — this is for all types of people with which you converse. Respond to him/her and also connect with him/her by piggy-backing off of something he/she has already told you.
- Looking at your phone when talking to someone — put your phone away when you’re talking. Your conversation needs to be more important than your phone.
- Sucking at sharing an idea or telling a story — you need to learn and get better at it. Take Simon Sinek’s Presentation Essentials class. It’s all about how to story tell, relay a message, and deliver a presentation — and tie everything together. This Skillshare class will help your personal life and professional life.
- Not being interesting to talk to — step outside of your box to become interesting. Skillshare has thousands of inspiring classes for everybody, with new classes launching continuously. As you learn new things, your small talk will get better.
- Forgetting people’s names — Alpha needed to improve this skill, so he now associates a famous person with the person he just met. He also repeats the person’s name when saying goodbye as well. Knowing a person’s name makes him/her feel that you give a sh!t and are involved/engaged.
- Not practicing with people that ‘don’t matter’ — practice conversation starters and small talk with baristas, servers, cashiers, and more. Small talk will be more effortless the more you practice, so you’re better when you are at a meeting, function, or meeting someone for the first time. You will be able to start a conversation and continue to carry it.
Alpha’s favorite conversation catalysts
- Give a compliment — it makes the person feel good and like you more. Never compliment a woman’s physical feature; you can her hair, however. Compliment something he/she is wearing or his/her car.
- Ask how their day is going — then ask a follow-up question. You can get them talking more, and you can interject or ask more questions.
- Ask what their story is — they will smile, and then it allows them to tell you what they want to tell you. It’s an ice breaker that connects.
- Ask what they do for a living — to connect better, ask what their hobby is or what they do on the weekend as many people don’t feel comfortable with ‘what do you do for a living.’
