I am embarrassed by the man that I was when I was in my 20s. I was a mess and something that I don’t talk about that much. Whenever I go down that rabbit hole and think back, it puts me into a painful mindset. I was a disaster because I was self-medicating, I was not happy, and I never dealt with a lot of my issues. I was drinking too much, sleeping around, and doing self-destructive things, including tobacco. I was a two-can-a-day nicotine or dip user.
In my 30s, I decided it was time to get my sh!t together. I felt like if I kept going down the road that I was on, I wasn’t going to be around in my 40s — and I didn’t want to die. I also would not be happy, healthy, and successful. That said, I want to share some of the steps I took to get my life together.
Steps I took to turn my life around
- Stopped drinking & tobacco. I stopped drinking, but I also stopped nicotine. I loved chewing tobacco, but I was embarrassed and tried to hide it. It was wildly addictive, and I was worried I was going to get mouth cancer. I didn’t have the willpower to quit, but when I stopped drinking, I stopped using nicotine because drinking was one of the triggers.
- Filed for bankruptcy. I was trying to make a business work using my credit cards to pay the staff. I had over half a million dollars worth of debt when the business went down. After filing for bankruptcy, my philosophy was that I would never spend if I couldn’t afford to pay cash, and I swore that I would never get into debt again.
- Found a new direction. In my 20s, all I wanted to do was own a fitness center, but as I moved into my 30s, I realized I had to give up that dream. We often chase something longer than we should, which is not good because time is our most valuable asset.
- Forgive myself. I forgave myself for not being perfect and for my mistakes in my 20s. I also forgave others and decided I wanted to be happy. If you’re sick and tired of letting your past hold you back, or you’re not feeling the way that you should feel, you need to seek help. One of the reasons I love therapy so much, which I’ve used throughout different phases and points in my life, is my life leveling up as a result.
- Took action. Instead of thinking and planning, I took action. I found the path I ended up taking with image consulting and my YouTube channel because I was willing to take action. I didn’t allow fear of the unknown or failure to get in my way. One action will lead to another action.
- Found a good partner. I found a good woman, and I locked it down. Finding my wife was one of the pivotal moments of my life when everything started to get better and scale. I would have never been successful if I stayed single because I spent too much time and energy worrying about sex, women, and so forth. Getting that off the table allowed me to be more creative and focused.
- Found better friends. When I quit drinking, I stopped hanging out with some of the people that I was hanging out with and partying. I ended up networking, and I found my tribe.
- Got life moving in the right direction. In my 30s, I took extreme ownership of my life, direction, and happiness. We often blame other people or think issues and challenges are someone else’s fault. When you accept that your destiny is your responsibility and nobody is coming to save you, you’ll be successful and move forward faster. You’ll be happier, more self-confident, and more self-assured.